Mommy, he's a bully and I don't want him there!

Now that my birthday has come and gone, it's time to start planning for the Babies' birthday.  They're going to be 5 next month and have requested their first ever "friends" party.  Oh boy!

For some reason 5 years old is an awesome - we have to have a party, mom! - special time for them. And, I have to say, I agree. Next year they'll be going to kindergarten with a whole new group of friends at a new school starting the next chapter in their tiny little lives.

So, about the party.  I'm fortunate that they have a rather small classroom at their pre-school. There are only 13 kids.  I'm also lucky that they are friendly with all of students, all but one.   Who knew there would be a class bully in pre-school.  I remember being picked on as a kid by my brother's friends, but never by the kid laying next to me during nap time.

As we went through the list of people to invite, both Buggy and Handsome were adamant that this particular child be excluded from the party.   Handsome proceeded to tell me a story "The other day at snack time, when I put my fishies on the table, he came over and smashed ALL of them with his fist! That is NOT NICE!"

Then Buggy had her turn "And, he pushed me on the playground steps and he did it on purpose and then he didn't say he was sorry. He's not nice to kids. Not any kids.  He can't come Mommy. He can't!"

Now, I expected to invite all the kids, with maybe 8 or 9 actually attending the party.  I planned on handing the invitations out during class.  I didn't think I'd have to put a gag order on some of the kids for a 5 year old's birthday party! 

Part of me feels sad.  Sad that this little boy can't come to the party. Sad that I've never seen him at other birthday parties. Sad that's he's not a nice little boy. Sad that it can't be all his fault.  Sad that we might hurt his feelings.

The other part of me feels protective.  Protective of my kids having had to deal with this bully (I can't believe I'm using that word) for more than two years.  Protective of my children's freedom and right to choose their friends.  Protective of their feelings.

So in the end, my kids win. My kids will always win.  I know there will come a day that my kids may not get invited to something and, you know what, I'll be prepared to handle it.  I'm a good mom and that's what parenting is about. 

Hey.... Birthday Girl!!

I admit it. I was excited for the family to get home last night to begin my birthday celebration.  My son flung open the back door, "Hey-ey...! Birthday girl!! We have a surprise for you!"  I couldn't wait to see what was hidden in his red backpack JUST FOR ME!  Yay!

I quickly realized, my son was the day's special helper in class which meant three things: 1. He could wash his hands first after lunch 2. He was first in line whenever the class went somewhere and 3. He could bring home the coveted silver "letter" box.  The box was my surprise. 

Upon becoming a mom, I realized quickly that life was no longer solely about me.  I fought this. I still do from time to time.

"That's great, Handsome! What's the letter?" I was actually very excited for him.  The letter box is something each kid takes turns bringing home. They find 5 things around the house that start with the letter of the week, and then bring it back the next day for show and tell.   He's been waiting his turn for two weeks.

"T.  I want to bring Toothless, my dragon." 

"OK.  Let's do a scavenger hunt for the rest of the stuff".  And off we went. 

A few minutes later I heard whimpers from my little Buggy.  She was standing in the kitchen, hat and mittens still on.  I became so excited about the box, I didn't even notice the card she was holding in her hand. It was pink with snowflake stickers and absolutely perfect.  I hugged her tight and she whispered, "Daddy has a surprise for you." 

My Hubby then stumbled through the door carrying one backpack, two stuffed animals, three grocery bags, and a 6 pack of beer.  "Hi Babe."  I said.  He just grunted in response.

Next I heard my son yelling from the bathroom upstairs, "Momma!! Come here!! I have another surprise for youuuuu!" 

When I walked into the bathroom, I knew what was coming next "I pooped. It's your birthday present! I knew you'd be so happy, right Momma?"

I said "Of course! Good job!"

Ahhhh... Motherhood. 

So, after some delicious linquine with clam sauce (prepared by my husband) and some entertaining dinner conversation, it was time for the cake.  My son had chosen a carvel ice cream cake in the shape of a snowman.  It was perfect. 

As my family was preparing the candles and shutting off all the lights in the house I starting to feel like a kid. I hadn't felt this excitement since I was a teenager. I was happy to have it back again.  As the cake was placed in front of me and I thought about my wish, I realized that I could not think of one.  That is, I couldn't think of one for me.  Everything was for them... their happiness, their dreams, their wishes. 

So, to all you Momma's out there:  It's YOUR birthday.  Make a wish! You deserve it.  Then have a GIANT piece of cake. 

xoxo AVE

Happy Birthday Dolly Parton!

Dolly Parton and I have shared the same birthday for the past 35 years.  By the time she was my age she was already a country icon in Nashville and was about to premiere her new movie "9 to 5".  She has won Grammies, Emmies, and numerous other awards.  She's immortalized with a star on Hollywood's walk of fame. 

I will, sadly, never accomplish half of the things she has in her lifetime.  However, there is one thing I have done that the great Miss Dolly Parton has not.... I've become a mother.   Happy Birthday to Me!

So, here I am.  My 35th birthday.  I just poured my first glass of wine and I'm waiting for my 4 year old rugrats to get home from pre-school with Hubby.  We are going to celebrate!  Italian food and ice cream cake, topped with a dose of Dora followed by some Dinosaur books.

This blog is my gift to me as a memoir to my kids.  I don't know where it will go, or what it will become, but I do know this:  The stories, the feelings, the emotion, and I will all be real.