Mommy, he's a bully and I don't want him there!

Now that my birthday has come and gone, it's time to start planning for the Babies' birthday.  They're going to be 5 next month and have requested their first ever "friends" party.  Oh boy!

For some reason 5 years old is an awesome - we have to have a party, mom! - special time for them. And, I have to say, I agree. Next year they'll be going to kindergarten with a whole new group of friends at a new school starting the next chapter in their tiny little lives.

So, about the party.  I'm fortunate that they have a rather small classroom at their pre-school. There are only 13 kids.  I'm also lucky that they are friendly with all of students, all but one.   Who knew there would be a class bully in pre-school.  I remember being picked on as a kid by my brother's friends, but never by the kid laying next to me during nap time.

As we went through the list of people to invite, both Buggy and Handsome were adamant that this particular child be excluded from the party.   Handsome proceeded to tell me a story "The other day at snack time, when I put my fishies on the table, he came over and smashed ALL of them with his fist! That is NOT NICE!"

Then Buggy had her turn "And, he pushed me on the playground steps and he did it on purpose and then he didn't say he was sorry. He's not nice to kids. Not any kids.  He can't come Mommy. He can't!"

Now, I expected to invite all the kids, with maybe 8 or 9 actually attending the party.  I planned on handing the invitations out during class.  I didn't think I'd have to put a gag order on some of the kids for a 5 year old's birthday party! 

Part of me feels sad.  Sad that this little boy can't come to the party. Sad that I've never seen him at other birthday parties. Sad that's he's not a nice little boy. Sad that it can't be all his fault.  Sad that we might hurt his feelings.

The other part of me feels protective.  Protective of my kids having had to deal with this bully (I can't believe I'm using that word) for more than two years.  Protective of my children's freedom and right to choose their friends.  Protective of their feelings.

So in the end, my kids win. My kids will always win.  I know there will come a day that my kids may not get invited to something and, you know what, I'll be prepared to handle it.  I'm a good mom and that's what parenting is about.